My name is Eric and I am an addict. It started 15 years ago. When I reflect back to this period of addiction, I try to pinpoint the reasons for this destructive period of my life. I can’t seem to put my finger on it. As I can remember and recall (my thought processes were so distorted at this time), the reasons were simple; I was hanging out in bars to meet people. Cocktails led to my experimenting with Marijuana. I thought recreational use would not hurt me but this was not satisfying enough. I needed something more, so I explored and found cocaine powder form. I did hold a job so I was able to fund this use and introduced it to a friend of mine. We both started using on a regular basis. We would go out snorting and drinking. It was a regular way of life. The choices and habits of my life led down a destructive road of crack cocaine. My life began to spiral out of control. For the next two years, we used constantly. I lost my job, my supportive family, and friends but I did not care. This drug was more important and had such a hold over me. I chose drugs over my son and daughter, my job, my family and friends. My drug buddies were the people I chose to socialize with. I was separated from my ex –wife, was ashamed of who I was. My worries were not a factor when I used. The pain disappeared and I did not have to face who I was when I had drugs.
There is no shame an admitting you are an addict. You need to trust your family will be there for you.
I was at a point in my life where I had no money, no home, no job, and no real friends. I hit my rock bottom as I found myself waking up in a crack house. I then realized, at that point in my life, that I needed to ask for help. Dialing the phone to my ex- wife was the hardest call of my life. I told her I needed help as I admitted for the first time that I had a drug addiction problem. She immediately picked me up, cleaned me up and fed me at this hopeless point in my life. I felt that admitting that I had a problem was easy. The withdrawal symptoms were excruciating. There were many times I wanted to go back to this drug but then I looked into my children’s eyes and realized that my children needed a clean and sober father. They deserved a better role model.
Day by day and minute by minute, I occupied myself with positive activities and choices. I chose to cut off all my drug enabling contacts with a focus on my wellbeing for the sake of my family. I was very fortunate that my family never gave up on me. My family believed in me when I did not believe in myself.
I am not ashamed of who I am and am very proud that I have overcome addiction. I want people struggling with addiction to know that you are important, special and have so much to give above getting high. Believe in yourself. Believe in those trying to help you. They are not your enemy but your angel that you are so longing for when your high wears off. You can do this but not alone. You need support.
The first steps to a better life are to seek help. You can be educated on a better path and quality of life. I promise that you are taking a better path for your life. I promise to believe in you when no one else will as I have walked in your shoes. You are alone, empty, and scared. This moment starts with you making a better choice for your life. Admitting to a loved one or counselor will take a tremendous weight off of your shoulders.
Allow someone to help you. You will not regret succumbing to your past destructive life.
I love you, God loves you and we are waiting for your better life with open arms.
~Written by Eric Yetto
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